When i began meditation a few years ago, i did it to become more at peace with me, but something i heard from several coaches is that as you become more centered with yourself… Certain people who exhibit those same dissolving behaviors will simply begin to remove themselves from your life.
I found this a very odd idea, yet the more i focus on self acceptance, the more I am finding new friends arriving in my life, and old ones removing themselves. It just naturally occurs and, sometimes I notice… Sometimes i don’t.
The odd thing is that it happened just like my coach said it would. It’s helped me realize it’s OK to be me, whoever that is, and that i was, in some ways, feeling the need to justify who i am or what i think in order to be friends with some folks.
I’ve recognized, especially in the last year, that I’m a person with great compassion for many issues, and my silence in those areas bothered me. I stayed silent to be more socially acceptable to others, and that appeasement made me feel afraid, unloved and insecure.
So as those negative things fade from my life, I’m very grateful for meditation and for people who can accept you like are, and for those who help me grow and grow with me, just as i understand that talking about the difficulties of my childhood can be tough for some to grasp.
It remains difficult for me to process, but i just can’t be silent anymore. I survived kidnapping, molestation, and lived in terror and ran for my life many times…. And because so many don’t come home and can’t function at all after such things…. I owe it to myself and others to use my experience to speak about that horror not only to heal myself but to help others know healing is possible.